You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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