So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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