Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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