Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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