Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
