I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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