Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
