That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
