I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
