glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
