i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
