You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My vagina just recognized that song.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize