I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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