You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
