I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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