I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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