cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
