Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
