I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
