Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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