i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Boobs are out for the taking
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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