I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
