she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
