I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
