I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
