I feel like I'm in dance class right now
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
