I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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