you would pick up someone in the library
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
