why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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