Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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