I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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