Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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