I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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