I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
