it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
