saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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