I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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