Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
