We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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