it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
