It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
