Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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