He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
