id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
