Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize