Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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