I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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