There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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