it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
