You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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