woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize