So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
