They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize