i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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