my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
