was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
