How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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