I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
