He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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