I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
