grandma shit on top of the toilet
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
