I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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