Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
