I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
