oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
