yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
