i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
