I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
