why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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